giogal about/

http://themightymouse.posterous.com/

G. Sorbara “romantic” blogs’ collection

October 2008, the guy

This is a just a diary of thoughts, email, short messages, feelings and emotions…

I am just one of the two actors of a beautiful story. A story of friendship, passion and something more…

Folks, please forgive my not perfect english and if you don’t… who cares :)

June 2010, the girl

And I am the second actor, or rather, the puppet. It was indeed a beautiful story in which I wholeheartedly believed but ended ugly. The “something more” has been just pain, terrible shock and huge disappointment.

These words, “who cares”, say all about who he really is: uncaring, selfish, irresponsible and sometimes quite arrogant. A person who does not “give a shit” (a very loved by him expression) about hurting the others

Also, a hidden liar who skilfully pretends to be honest, reliable and faithful… until he gets the girl, then the small betrayals, lies and mistrusts come up, the “fireworks” are over, if I can use another expression of him

I wondered so much why did he stop being my friend and discussed our problems not with me but with others, who did not know me at all, and thus he failed everything between us: the almost 10 years of friendship and longing, the supposedly “beautiful love”.

An inevitable answer is that it was not really love on his side, nor friendship. When you love someone as a partner or  friend, you do not want to lose the person and you make all the efforts to clear the misunderstandings, solve the problems and move on, keeping the relationship. But he let go of ours without any obvious hesitation, as if it meant nothing to him. Moreover, demonstrating an obvious preference for the opinion and “friendship” of another woman, he has got to know in the same way like me: over internet chat, some 10 years ago.

So, the painful realisation is that he just used me to try to make his previous girlfriend jealous, as well as to heal his hurt ego because she broke up with him after living together for 7 years. There are too many facts, which speak clearly about this. He hid from me that he had called her at least once (for Xmas 2008), while we were in a relationship. I would have not mind him calling her. In fact, I thought it was not very nice of him not to phone for her birthday or Xmas but I reckoned he was too hurt and insulted (she left him just before his dad died and then never offered him any consolation, which I thought cruel but now I can understand that she might have had enough of his hysterical outbursts and stubbornness. She accused him of being “destructive” and she was very right about it).

Who knows how many more hidden secrets there are, but it is better to never know

Sadly, he was really lying to me, while I was completely honest and open with him, which often caused scandals since he was too jealous.

And when I tell him all this, he just gets pissed off and accuses me of insulting him.

During his last yelling at me, on January 2, 2010, he said that after I became his girlfriend, he stopped considering me a friend. If I knew he would think that way, I would have never started the relationship. We always talked about sharing everything and I was too stupid to believe in these words…

But he seems to say whatever suits him for the moment

And he stops caring too quickly

That’s why he has no real friends and all his relationships so far have ended in a very ugly way, in a full contrast with the beautiful, romantic beginnings he so skilfully invents but cannot keep up with because he cannot control the dark neurotic side of his personality

Now he has been creating another “beautiful-love”-blog for his next girlfriend, with photos, which seem to be meant for me to see them and feel more hurt. He knew it would be inevitable for me to see those, so, a good job, I must say. No recent posts though. As, seemingly, he has already started fighting with her too.

Certainly, there are similar blogs for all his exgirlfriends, which is pretty silly

When I remember his hysterical outbursts and yelling, I should be grateful it is all over

I loved and trusted him so much, and regretted about him for so long, and could not get over him and suffered deeply for months. Part of me still does

While he just carelessly jumped into his next relationship… creating another “beautiful story”, and another blog:

http://themightymouse.posterous.com/

and was even so arrogant to tell me that I was not the only woman in this world

I am well aware that I am nostalgic for that nice, loving boy of our first months together, who turned out to be a mere mask

This blog and the ID cannot be deleted, the web site does not allow it (perhaps for this reason he has chosen another web site for his next-girlfriend-blog). He invented the ID combining the first three letters of our names. So we are stuck together forever in the virtual space. I deleted his blog’s entries since he was quoting me. And because I do not want to be connected with him in any way. But as I cannot have the blog and the ID deleted, I decided at least to add here what I have been thinking of and feeling about this most meaningless and painful relationship in my life so far.

I do realise that I have presented the whole thing as black (him) and white (me) but it is bloody black and white :)

13  February 2011

He seems to be trying to hack this blog and delete what I wrote. Always preferring the dishonest way...

Instead of sharing his point of view, which I would post here. But I am completely over the whole stupid story, it took me too long because I sacrificed too much for this stupid and deceitful relationship. It was a terrible mistake to get involved with such a person and I paid it dearly. I am finally able to move on to my new life and be with the person who is worth being with…

without the hysterical outbursts and lies

8 April 2011

Someone has been checking this web site every other day, so I assume there are people interested in it and I should provide them with more reading

THE WOMEN

I have been wanting to write about them for a while, but didn’t really feel like getting in all the details. I’ll try to be concise. These are the ones he has told me about:

1. Paola – the first long term girlfriend, I think. I remember he told me they were together for about 4 years. food was involved, a lot of eating, overweight. and she was not judgemental. they used to fight about everything: even if to turn to the left or to the right. I even found this amusing, though I should have asked myself what was I doing with someone who’d been in such a relationship…

He broke up with her because he didn’t love her. I think she was the one he cheated on but I might be wrong. He said he had cheated (physically) on his steady girlfriend once, when he was in the USA, this should have been around the year of 1999, when we also got to know each other on icq. He was having lots of affairs with girls he knew from icq and found his next long term girlfriend there too.

2. A Turkish girl – again from icq, just for sex. She had a beautiful body. But wanted to get married…

3. There is a woman who has a PhD and teaches now in the States. Never been told much details about her. For a long time I thought her name was Giorgia, but I was wrong. I don’t remember her name, he might have not mentioned it, obviously the PhD was important.

4. Giorgia. they have stayed friends. a very nice woman, with a very nice, smiling boyfriend. I felt somehow envious when I once saw them by chance in the supermarket, they did not seem like a couple who had the constant fruitless arguments of which I had grown so tired by that time.

What I was told about Giorgia: he didn’t love her, though he spent a whole year dating her. This is what he told me right after we met them. He never told her “I love you”. I guess at the time he was still not saying it so easily as he began to say it later, to me , for instance, or some of his previous gfs. At Giorgia’s time these words probably really meant something for him. About her, he said that she was keeping things to herself, which means she was putting up with his outbursts patiently.

He once said he had had a very fat girlfriend with big boobs. I guess this was about her. he mentioned she had some hormonal imbalance.  But a beautiful face

5. Speaking of this there is another overweight woman with beautiful face in his life. His close friend Tisa. The ICQ again and the USA theme. He seemed to had wanted to move there in 1998-1999-2000 and he had affairs with a couple of American women. Tisa seemed to be too shockingly overweight for him. She couldn’t even fit her feet into her sneakers, he said. And was engaged. Anyway, she got married and has been complaining about her husband since then and willing to get a divorce, that’s what I know about her from him. She was ready to come and save our hero when his girlfriend left him in 2008 but unfortunately I showed up. Well, she managed to get her “revenge” and contribute to the failure of our relationship on the next year, when she finally made it to town, on business and on a diet, speaking only about losing weight, must be traumatising to have so much of it…

It was interesting to observe how the two of them gave up on the idea to ever get together, while getting to know each other during the course of a week. Especially she, being a practical American, judged him right very quickly and started talking about her family and husband, or at least in front of me. To him she kept saying the old song about getting a divorce and he was reasoning her. But he was obviously obsessed by her. Though he also made the right judgement in front of me that she was too American (simple). Whatever, it was a really unpleasant experience, which I call cheating though a physical contact might have not taken place. It was cheating of a much nastier nature.

6. back to before the 1999. Another American woman, Nicole, again from icq, I suppose. She lived in Germany with her husband who was a military, there was a baby too. They divorced, not sure if the reason was her new “love”, anyway it was an unhappy marriage. I think she put the beginning of his most loved pattern: to find a woman who has been miserable in her present/previous relationship and show up as the “saviour” – the decent honest dream-boyfriend who has finally appeared and happiness is promised. the prince from the fairy tale (bullshit, which I also bought and I was the only one who actually fulfilled his dream: to leave another man for him)

Nicole returned to USA and I am not sure if he went to see her once or twice. He’s been to USA twice. But maybe visiting her once because it all ended very quickly and in an ugly way. They did a trip to some resort. He didn’t show any understanding towards the fact she was a mother and had to take care of her small child, moreover she was keeping her new relationship in secret even from her family. So, I guess, lots of arguments… I was told she once burst into tears because he made a remark that she was not eating gracefully, she started crying, got offended probably, told him she was bulimic before, not to talk to her like that.

Then they were in the middle of nowhere, no taxi, no way to get to the airport. She gave him a ride (I assume he decided to leave earlier, but I’m not sure) and he walked out on her, leaving the car and trunk doors open. she yelled after him. Now, why this story did not tell me enough about what kind of person I was getting involved with?? It did rang the bell and I was pretty shocked to hear it, and wondered if he was not t least ashamed by the ugliness of his deed. But because we were friends for so many years I was justifying him, that he had got pissed off with the stupid American, etc.

Doesn’t matter how pissed of a person might be, if they have proper upbringing and education and are decent, they never behave like that. The end of our relationship was even worse. But this I will describe in another post.

After he left the States and her, she called him and asked him to forgive her and that she wanted them to get back together again (not sure how true this part is). He agreed. But then one day she stopped replying and just wrote him there was someone else.

7. There was another American, perhaps later, when he went to the states for the second time, he went to NY for the Millennium (and met Tisa too). That American girl was a virgin, he fucked her and left her. She also cried for some reason, being insulted by him.

8. Speaking about fucking, there was another girl, from a different city, they were only lovers. from his words I could perceive that she was really into him but he never gave her a chance, I did not understand why. She had another boyfriend.

9. here it comes the year of 2000 – 2001 and his long term girlfriend, my predecessor: born in Australia, but moved back to the motherland of her parents. A painter, quite an interesting and self-assured woman, from a noble origin (this mattered a lot to him). they lived together for 7-8 years, in her family house in the suburbs, more a residence than a house (this did matter a lot to him too), a lot of social contacts (which were a bit of a burden for him, he is not very sociable). During all these years we kept in touch occasionally, an email per year, or a chat 2-3 times. He never said he loved her, he was rather giving me hints he was not entirely happy with her (chaotic, messy) and kept flirting with me (sweetie, etc). They lived together for 8 years and did not get married and were very very careful not to have a child, which is not normal. I assume there was love but they also were cautious not to commit entirely. I can understand her reasons: he’s too jealous, nervous, acting up in a very bad way. He could be very caring and loving but he’s not easy going, could be quite seflish and the constant arguments he can inconsiderately pick up at any time are very very tiring.

He tried to save this relationship, did not want to lose the social status it was bringing him, nor the material side: living in the residence out of town, in the future perhaps in one of the family apartments in the city centre, sailing, the social life… He even insisted on them going to a shrink but nothing helped. I suppose his hysterical way of dealing with problems failed everything. As I already wrote she accused him of being destructive. The same thing happen with our relationship.

She must have been a really patient woman. He actually admitted it, that in the beginning she was very patient.

But she put an end to the relationship. He left the house without even taking his luggage, probably royally pissed off. I might assume he did this because he was hoping to return one day but she didn’t want to meet him even when his dad died. Then, in a month or so, I showed up… at the wrong time in the wrong place (for me only, of course)

one more thing, back in the 2000 he told me she had left her boyfriend in order to be with him, because he told her she had to choose one of them and she chose him (like I did). This turned out to be a lie. In 2008 before we to start our relationship he had forgotten this lie (I have a memory like an elephant) and told me the truth: that he was just a lover, she had another boyfriend, followed him to the States, was very disappointed by him, broke up and came back. Only then they got together, a bit by chance. She called to give him back some manga and this is how their relationship started. But why did he lie to me in 2000, presenting himself as the one who had been preferred to someone else, as “the better” guy?? And why I ignored all these signs and went for him. I fell in love and love is really blind…

10. me

11. his present girlfriend, still, perhaps. I don’t know her name, only that she’s our age and working as a copyright. and it seems the same pattern: unhappy previous relationship (perhaps a marriage since she had “her good reason” not to live together) and the saviour showed up: never lying, never cheating, flowers, trips, romantic first kiss (how many of us have been taken to Teatro di Marcello for the first kiss, I wonder), wine, cheese, etc… then the acting up and the pointless arguments… I think I might have helped them a bit to go through this as I interfered and probably he became more self-conscious and restrained his nervous nature.

oh, yes, when he told me about her, he stressed out that she did have an MA (“believe it or not”, as if I would not believe or would be totally upset by the fact??!) and also that she “was listening” to him, not like me. I was not listening to him.Yes, I did refuse to listen to him yelling at me and I was trying to hide, usually in the bathroom, an involuntary reaction since I don’t really enjoy being yelled at. My attempts to explain to him that he was misunderstanding me and things were not like he imagined them and for this reason there was no need to be so upset were perceived only as “disrespect” on my side towards what he was yelling at me. I had never been yelled at in such a hysterical way in my life and did not know how to react.

whatever…

ok, enough, this text took me quite a while to write. I have no more time for now. thank you for reading it, whoever you are!

Perhaps you should stop using obscure web sites to be referred to this site or hack it???!!!

THE SCANDALS